Cult forms in Carlsbad; Some City Council Members Rumored to have Joined

A surprising development has occurred in the sleepy North San Diego County City of Carlsbad.

Source: wallpaper4me.com

People are talking about a mysterious cult that has been attracting a number of residents; prompting concern that some type of intervention is required before the cult grows too large, or possibly even impacts the functioning of the city government.

The prophet of this cult appears to be a Los Angeles billionaire with vague assurances of delivering a new “Promised Land.” He’s tapped into many residents’ need to “believe in something.” His influence causes new disciples to conduct ritualistic defense of their leader’s plans, and make sacrifices for the good of the movement. Concern is growing as some fear the prophet’s powerful exploitation; some followers are reportedly exhibiting zombie-like episodes.

Several leaders working with the prophet visit the townspeople, cajoling them with promises of a “heaven on earth” right in Carlsbad. Devotees host recruitment sessions in their homes; flyers and invitations, paid for by the prophet, are blanketing the City.  Meetings for those who already “believe” are conducted where new members of the cult are often brought to tears as the group hums in unison in a melody only they seem to understand.

Potential new recruits are offered prophet-sponsored pilgrimages through hours-long traffic to visit “Gifts,” shrines complete with statues of the prophet’s family that he has bestowed upon the earth. One devotee, named a “super volunteer,” reported becoming mesmerized by shiny objects including rings polished to high-gloss by the workers at the prophet’s devotion centers. 

Members of the cult are seen on online message boards, posting in comment sections below news articles, and other venues where they defend the cult and its prophet whenever any critical comments are found. Members volunteer their time by attending local community meetings to interject and “speak the truth,” if negative words are spoken about the prophet.

So what is this “Promised land,” this “Heaven on Earth” that the prophet promises? Fanciful artist renderings picture an oasis of nature. A young blond girl poses as temptress in one commercial promoting the proposal, compelling viewers to join her Eden paradise.

But really, what is this? A mall! With a Nordstrom’s! To be built on land that the community voted years ago to preserve as a strawberry field and natural open space. But preserving wild open space is not what this cult desires. Another mall is needed, they assert, to satisfy the hunger of the “needy” – those looking for fulfillment at the temple of retail commerce. They will fight through the resultant traffic and celebrate their deliverance to a holy place, promised by the Los Angeles billionaire prophet.

Local concerned citizens have called for an intervention, to free their neighbors from this cult. Will the entire community join together to resist this invasion? Can the infection be stopped, or is it too late?!  Much is at stake, and the burden to decide the fate of our community rests on our City Council resisting the prophet’s temptations.

 

Darrell Issa called that college student a what?

What’s with my women friends getting so riled up lately?

I pride myself on keeping up with the political news, especially that Darrell
 Issa, since he may be my new Congressional rep.  But knee deep in my son’s college applications, I’ve been a little distracted lately, I’ll admit.  

I wasn’t surprised that Issa didn’t allow any women to testify on the panel when they discussed religion and contraception. After all, the women usually take care of that contraception thing, right?  Why should he have to bother listening to what women have to say on the matter?  And then he called that college student a slut. Wow! And this guy’s gonna be my new representative? He surely has big you know whats!

I am so excited that a manly man is going to be representing me. Like how Darrell Issa - Manly Man he wouldn’t let anyone testify who had a different opinion from his. I remember while sitting on the throne, reading Kaili Joy Gray’s recent article: "Issa won't be hearing from any of the nearly two dozen religious groups who have no problem with the Obama administration's new health care policy to require insurance coverage of birth control." The list of the uninvited included "representatives from the Catholic Health Association, which is run by a woman and actually runs the Catholic hospitals, nor Catholic Charities, both of which said Friday they supported the President’s plan." Of course a real man wouldn’t need to let these women testify.

All this macho stuff was getting me really excited when I worked with the free weights at the gym. After a couple circuits, and my 10th bench press rep, I thought about how that Issa has real power. Why should he have to apologize when his half-brother Limbaugh joined him in the name-calling? Calling that college student a prostitute and telling her that if taxpayers are going to pay for her birth control we, manly men, wanted something in return!  Like porn films, showing what she really spends time doing in law school. 

Darrel and Rush, those two guys have so much freakin’ power they don’t answer to no one. They got power and it’s legit. Screw anyone who complains! Whining people!  And Issa’s reelection is a sure thing, it’s gotta be. He’s got the majority of North San Diego County blinded by his power, and then he goes to Washington and does whatever the hell he wants. Gets the feds to pay for upgrades to roads that run by buildings he owns; wonder if there’s any kickbacks from those mega corporations he fronts. That man’s gotta love his job.

So I got to thinking, I might actually have a bromance crush on Darrell. Cool, clean, intelligible, who wouldn’t envy this guy?  But calling women sluts and prostitutes? Is this why my women friends are threatening to protest Issa in Shadowridge next week? Issa’s found a way to really take our country back! All the way back to pre-women’s lib!  

So actually I don’t know why I’m filling out these college financial aid forms.  But, I feel like I need to get back to it, just in case Issa doesn’t win. After all, if he wins again, I hear he and his cronies are gonna kill all the financial aid so that only their families and friends can go to college. Tough guy!

Oh, damn, I just got a call from a friend telling me that Issa isn’t the one who used the “S” and the “P”  word against that college student. It was the manlier man, the mouth-piece of the GOP,  Rush. Oh well, so I didn’t get the facts exactly right. Isn’t this why they call it “Political Theater?”  Rush is just  entertainment, right? Stop whining and get back to work!

Update: 3/10/2012

Wow. Saw this Rush and Darrell appreciation sign at a recent rally:

Darrell Issa and Rush Limbaugh Dicktate